


Future.

by HowWeGotHere



Series: Mixed Fandom Prompt Writing [1]
Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Poetic style, Suicide Attempt, sorry - Freeform, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:22:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28710408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowWeGotHere/pseuds/HowWeGotHere
Summary: What happens when Hawk becomes a Miyagi-Fang? (Yes, you can laugh at that.)What happens when you hate who you were?Or,Eli is in a bad place.Or,A really poorly written fic.Any will do.
Series: Mixed Fandom Prompt Writing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106375
Kudos: 15





	Future.

**Author's Note:**

> So. This work contains writing where the MC, (in this case Eli) attempts suicide.  
> Or, he is about to attempt suicide in a.. very high chance of mortality situation.
> 
> I don’t mean to speak for anyone else who has felt this way.  
> I don’t mean to romanticise mental health issues.  
> I don’t mean to trigger anyone.  
> If I do, then I’m very sorry.
> 
> Also, if you aren’t doing too well when you go to read this, then firstly, watch out, secondly, go drink some water, and come back. You have no obligation to read this.  
> I wish all and any of you well.  
> I hope that you can exist in an okay place, mentally and physically.  
> Care for yourself.
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> Be kind.

He carries regret.  
A shit-ton of regret.  
Why would he do that?  
The question haunted him.  
At least now he is normal.  
Human.  
Eli still thinks of himself in his thoughts as Eli, despite his insistence to be called Hawk. When he had got bullied, he had tried to hold himself together until he was home, but then his mother, loving but naive of high school social structures, would try to help, calling in authority.  
No one respected authority there.  
He went from being the kid who was beat up, the kid who wore the dull sweaters.  
To the kid who had a posse, who was a force to be reckoned with.  
To the total asshole.

Somedays he wishes he just kept getting beat up.

He is part of another group now.  
When he sees the people he used to run with, he feels sick.  
Was he as robotic as them?  
Like machines programmed to make others hurt.  
Some things he would look at before with pride and a hint of uncertainty, he now just feels shame.

Demetri had been his best friend for a while.  
He picks up when Eli is dying, when he thinks about just stopping.  
He will look at him and talk him back up.  
Demetri still will do that even though Eli broke his arm.  
After chasing him.  
Harassing him.  
Hurting him.  
Becoming the bully that he had been hurt by.

Very few trust him.  
Miguel does.  
Demetri does.  
He thinks that Sensei Laurence might as well.  
He doesn’t trust himself.  
He wishes he could turn back time.  
Change all of it.  
He is done.

Demetri finds him on the bridge.  
He only finds this one out when his hand is grabbed.  
He yelps.  
“Eli.” He said.  
He had stepped further towards the drop, the drop that would kill him.  
Demetri pulled.  
“I’m not letting you go today. Or tomorrow. Or any other day.”  
His voice broke on the last word, his jaw tensed in resolve.  
“I broke your arm. I’ve hurt so many people.” He said, still trying to shuffle towards the edge.  
“Miguel needs you. He needs friends. He needs proof that we can survive.”  
“Miguel is already proof himself that we can survive. He should hate me. No one needs me.”  
Demetri has one sharp fingernail and it cut through his skin, but, he barely felt it.  
“Eli.” He said, his tongue fumbling slightly over the word.  
“I need you.”

In his head, he knew that that was not a fact, that Demetri could survive without him. But he understood what he meant.  
Demetri tugged on him, hard, pulling him well away from the edge.  
“Okay.” He said, a temporary agreement.  
He was shaking. He had ran all the way up here, but was drained of energy now. They walked along the bridge.  
Every step was daunting.  
Nothing had changed, he still hated himself.  
What he had done.  
But he also was alive. And planning to stay that way for now.  
Demetri held his hand, or not exactly, he just kept feeling for his fingers, looking that he had done it.  
That Eli was still here. 

Demetri only told Miguel.  
And he simply said to, “Look out for Hawk. Or more specifically, Eli.”  
That probably had some hidden meaning to it, but Eli didn’t know exactly what.  
He hugged Eli, a slow, almost cautious thing.  
Eli squeezed.

He carried regret.  
A lot of regret.  
It was easier to bear after so many others had confided some of their regrets in him.  
He carried a future.  
Not guaranteed.  
Not especially perfect.  
Not exactly happy.  
But a future with people.  
And life.

He carries a tiny scar on his right hand.  
Where the nail had cut the skin.  
He had ignored that cut until it was obviously infected, and now he had a tiny half-crescent shape.  
He looks at it sometimes.  
It’s a reminder that he has future.  
Potential.

And people who want to be there for that.

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone okay?
> 
> This work was inspired by the prompt Things we Carry.
> 
> Check my bookmarks to see the others I’m going to be using.
> 
> Don’t hesitate to hate on me, genuinely critique me, or do a vague comment.
> 
> I never meant to cause harm.
> 
> I’m sorry.
> 
> Thank you.


End file.
